I’m Still Here March 31, 2008

You must be wondering where I am and if I have fallen off the face of the earth, or perhaps head first into the Chao Phraya.  But no, I am still here, sweating.

The problem, you see, is that I have actually written 3 lengthy posts detailing what I’ve been up to over the past few days, but the continuing lack of internet chez moi means I have not been able to post them up.  Just think of the bonus reading you can do when internet man finally gets his finger out – it will need a cup of tea and at least 3 jaffa cakes.

I’ll skip ahead to today – it’s hot.  You won’t be surprised to hear that, but the bit that did surprise me was my failure to break a sweat until I was on the train this morning.  The carriage I got in had a handy gauge on the wall to tell me that it was 30 degrees and 74% humidity in our compartment, which is bad news at the best of time, but even more disheartening when you have your face stuck in a sweaty Chinese man’s armpit.

Today has been mega busy at work, so the big cheese ordered lunch in from a Japanese place nearby.  Mine was billed as being my Ichiban favourite gyu-don, which is basically just beef and rice but it came served with huge lumps of tofu welded to it with eggs and it was a bit barfsome, which after last nite’s disappointing dinner (of which you will read more of later) has left me feeling ravenous.

In lieu of any exciting news from me, go read this.  It’s always nice to read other people’s adventures but the stuff about the menus really cracked me up.

Later On Sunday March 30, 2008

Well, I have returned from the mall, which turned out to be rather more of a collection of random shops rather than a proper mall.  There is a department store there which is like a cross between Frasers and Your More Store which houses a collection of the most hideous womens shoes known to man and one pair of nice Clarks shoes which cost approximately yours and my annual salary put together.  There is also the usual McDonalds, donut shop and my personal favourite, Auntie Anne’s pretzels, some stalls selling tiny, grubby looking underwear at rock bottom prices and a big supermarket, at which I bought a giant pineapple for approximately 25 pence, some lime soda and some washing up liquid.

I also bought some storage jars to keep my cream crackers out of reach of my cockroachy pals from a shop even cheaper than Daiso, where everything cost 50p or less.  The lady there told a Thai man off for skipping the queue in front of me and sent him to the back, so she is my new favourite person in South East Asia.  Some people just walk straight past you when you are queuing here for anything – the supermarket, the train … at first I thought it was just me as a Westerner, but no, they do it to each other all the time that I have seen.  Between that and the randomly stopping in awkward places, e.g. getting off an escalator with 300 people on it and stopping at the top to rummage in your bag or stare slack jawed into the middle distance – all irritating traits of my fellow city-dwellers!

So, I was circling the mall considering what to have for tea and assessing the limited choice of restaurants – there were 2 scary looking places that seemed to involve you cooking your own dinner on a brazier in the middle of the table (how can one small mall support 2 huge restaurants doing this same thing?), one which seemed to sell solely pastry (my usual idea of heaven, but it was all fish filled that I could see) and one which unashamedly announced on the outside FISH BALL NOODLE!  I had given up and thought I would get something from one of the stalls on the way back when I spied down a quiet side alley a restaurant who’s name now escapes me but was fashioned around the premise of being in The Wild West.  I really should have remembered the name because the place was equal parts hilarious and awful.

I tentatively pushed open the door after a flick thru their menu and the place was practically in darkness save a few spotlights highlighting the girl (and I think it was a real one) playing acoustic guitar on a small stage.  She was, to put it politely, murdering the hits of the Eagles, the Beatles and just about every other popular ballad since 1964.  There were a handful of people in the restaurant besides me – a couple of loud Thai middle aged men behind me, a farang and his beautiful Thai companion and another couple of guys on the other side.  I had brought a book with me for passing the time in between ordering, etc and had thought to take a leaf out of Jamie’s book and just linger and read for a while, but I had clearly chosen the wrong place for that.  I decided to order some steak tho, seeing as it was Sunday, I have had a week full of rice and it’s pay day weekend and all (and going to cost about £3), so sat back and read my book until it arrived, delivered by a teenager in a check shirt and waistcoat.

Now, I have had had some pretty bad meals in my time but this goes straight to the top of the league table for winner of the worst thing ever to have passed my lips.  The steak was about 80% fat and came with some microwaved frozen carrots, something unidentifiable and some onion rings which appeared to have been cooked in lard.  I pushed it around the plate for a good 15 minutes before I gave up and paid up and left.  Let’s say I am very grateful for those cream crackers now!

Back home now and I thought the modem had a new light on, but I’ve tested it and it’s still not working.  The TV is still full of Thai news and soap operas set in ancient China, so I guess I must have caught the wrong end of the nunchuck from the dude earlier.  I’ll ask a colleague to call them tomorrow.  I suspect it may be due to me not having supplied my passport in triplicate as I had expected to, but the guy didn’t seem interested in it earlier, so I think the wires have been well and truly crossed.  I wish they’d just plug the wires in to the telephone exchange and have done with it.

So, this week – I am thinking that one evening after work I might take the boat up to China Town for a wander round and I also want to visit MBK to check out the shoe situation there and I may really push the boat out and take my adventuring to new levels with a trip to the cinema!  Watch this space!

Sunday March 30, 2008

There has been a bit of a delay in updating this with my goings on owing to the ongoing internet saga. Cutting a long story short, several phonecalls later and a visit from a man this morning a full 2 hours earlier than billed has left me, in my mind, no further forwards. I am writing this now with a view to uploading it when the internet kicks in – who knows when you will actually be reading this. I could well be back in the UK before this sees the light of day! The man this morning came to front door, passed me a piece of paper to sign and then muttered something about 3 o’clock before he disappeared off back in his van. The word engineer was also mentioned, but I have no idea if he was referring to himself or not. From the miming that was going on, I am given to understand that I should have civilised TV and internets at 3pm today, however it is now quarter past and I am still watching badly dubbed Thai TV (Mega Clever, the game show that is on now seems to be German possibly and features a lot of Teutonic people in white coats handling small animals. Right now there is a rat, a kitten and a bunny on screen for no discernable reason).

So, in the intervening time, what have I been doing, I hear you cry. Well, getting by in the heat has been taking up most of my energies. Thursday morning’s journey to work almost finished me off – I eventually arrived at the office looking like I’d fallen head first into a deep fat fryer. It was SO hot. Unless you are here sweating along with me, it’s hard to explain to you just how exhausting it is. I declared my intent never to go out of doors again when I arrived, but after a day inside, eating kang lang (downstairs) and a lime smoothie to cool me down, I felt ready and able to go for dinner with Jamie to dissect the week at work and reminisce on old times at iohell in Glasgow. We went to an authentic Italian place, with a real Italian owner and everything and the food was really simple but really good. The pasta came served in a bowl with some pizza dough cooked over the top which was unusual but also really tasty. I tried a bit of Jamie’s gorgonzola and apple pizza too which was fantastic, altho it sounds hideous.

After dinner, Jamie pointed me in the direction of the nearby second hand book shop which sells books in English amongst other languages. It was due to close soon, so I grabbed 4 books at random from the chicklit section and was most pleased to find that they came to roughly the same price as a new book cost me last week. Plus the shop buys them back or gives you a discount on others when you take them back and buy more, so good news all round (it’s near Phrom Phong BTS, fact lovers).

Friday was even more unbearable on the commuting front and I really did think that I could have lain down on the floor and passed out. The journey to the station at this end is not too bad and the trains themselves are air con-ed to the max, but the real killer for me is the other end from the station to work. It’s down 3 really steep flights of stairs, a mosey along by the 5 lane traffic jammed road, up 3 more flights of really steep stairs (why are they so steep? Thais are midgets! Everyone struggles, not just me.), a walk across the overpass in the blazing sunshine and down 3 flights more of really steep stairs at the other end. The traipse up the steps to the office building is a breeze after that. In reality, it’s not that far, but it’s the exposed trot up and down the stairs that really does me in for every morning.

Work itself is ok – frustrating at times though. Two new people started with me on the same day and one of them is being trained to work in the area I am the acknowledged company-wide expert in, over me. I can’t really complain as I knew full well that I was not coming here to work in that area, but that was before another girl who does work in that team decided to leave. It would have seemed common sense for me to have just slotted in there, as I can do the work with my eyes closed, but instead I am learning in a more technical area which I am finding hard to take in, but am getting there. At the moment, it seems like a small price to pay for this opportunity and I am still being paid handsomely for it, so I shouldn’t be whining about it.

Friday nite, I went to meet Liz who is back from Cambodia with tales of how amazing Angkor Wat is. I would love to go and see it for myself one day. We met at the end of the BTS line and headed up the river to meet some of her friends and Rob, her boyfriend to have dinner near Khao San road. I was most excited to finally be on a boat going up the river and it was quite surreal, a little like being on a ride at Disney World. The boat whizzed along up the river, stopping to let people on and off and shooting past some amazing temples and all the huge fancy hotels. We alighted at Banglamphu and headed for an Indian restaurant called Bombay Blues where we met up with the others and enjoyed some delicious food on a balcony, seated on cushions on the floor at the low table. After dinner, we headed to Khao San itself, to meet up with some more of Liz and Rob’s friends from the school they had taught at and we had a few drinks as more and more people joined the group. I left around 11pm and decided to take a taxi home across town, which turned out to be pretty hassle free, as I had managed to master the pronounciation of my address and 90 bhat and about 20 minutes later, I was home.

Saturday I had a nice lie in and felt really pleased not to be outside in the heat trying to battle my way to work. I got up a bit later and headed off to meet Liz and head to the fabled fair-trade craft fair that I have heard a lot about before coming here. It’s on once a month at a hotel in the Sukhumvit area of town which is not far on the trains for me. A friend of Liz’s from the UK joined us with her travelling pal and another girl from the USA and we all set off in the blazing heat to the hotel where the fair was being held. It was 3 enormous rooms (one outside) of really well-made crafts from handwoven baskets, carved benches and handmade jewellery to handwoven blankets, Karen hilltribe silver and beautiful tableware. I managed to keep my spending under control but did buy a new bin for the bathroom, some really delicious smelling salt scrub (coconut and jasmine flavoured) and a few things for my buddies back home. The fair is on every month and has different items at each fair, so I will try to go back for the next one in April.

After we managed to tear ourselves away from the fair, Liz took us to the Arabic area of town which was just a short walk away and we had some lunch. It was really tasty – a lamb and chicken shawarma, like a cross between a donner kebab and a fajita and for the bargain price of 50 bhat. We had a good chat and then all went our separate ways. I came back on the MRT and got off a stop early to check out some of the shops along from my apartment. I found the branch of Daiso which turns out to be a sort of Japanese pound shop and I spent a good half hour in there exclaiming over all the wonderous things they have in there, including some really great black lacquer style Japanese rice bowls adorned with gold bunnies. I bought a couple of things, including some baskets to keep my sewing stuff in and some envelopes and then headed next door to do one of my favourite things in foreign countries – visit the supermarket. This one is a Carrefour (or Car Foo as the Thais pronounce it) and it was much the same as Tesco without the breakfast cereal, I have to say. I bought some provisions and considered purchasing a microwave (about £20) as there are no cooking facilities in the apartment at all, and then came back home, I am not ashamed to say, in a taxi. I had a lot of bags and some heavy things from the supermarket and I was hot and .. I have no idea why I am explaining myself to you guys, it was hot and I am lazy

so, I came home and pottered about, read a bit, had a swim and then did some sewing which I got pretty engrossed in and before I knew it I was sleepy and it was past midnight. Today, Sunday, I have been mostly waiting around to see if someone is magically going to appear and turn on the TV/internets/phone. Apart from the guy this morning, that seems to have been it. The company has sent me 2 text messages today, but they were clearly in Thai which my phone does not recognise so I have no idea what they say. I have managed to get some laundry down tho downstairs and realise that I should have bought a drying rack at the supermarket yesterday as now I have clothes draped everywhere. I have also had a swim, but it was short lived due to 4 really odious kids being in there getting in my way and also an army of women in wellies cleaning all the tiles by the pool (with the pool water) on their hands and knees with scrubbing brushes in the blazing sunshine. I felt guilty that I was going to drip all over their handiwork, so I retreated inside to write this.

So, I am now thinking sod this, I should go out and to hell with internet man. It’s almost 4pm, so it should hopefully be cool enough to venture out in an hour or so, at which point I think I will probably head to the mall along the road to eat something and have a wander round (and use their AC rather than my own). Work tomorrow of course and I hope to make it in slightly less of a mess than last week. It’s hard to do tho, not matter how accepting of the heat I try to be. Right – I’m off to try the TV again and try and work out why the Germans are trying to blow up marshmallows in a microwave now …

A Day In The Life March 27, 2008

Some friends and I like to do a day in the life of thing now and again.  Tuesday was the latest one, chosen by my friend Marceline.  So here is my entry:

6.30: Wake up and glance out window to see same dense fog that seems to appear every morning. Go back to sleep

7.00: Alarm goes off. Press snooze.

7.28: Cannot ignore alarm any more. Get up and investigate fog situation. Feel stupid as I realise it is actually condensation from the searing heat outside and the icebox AC temperature inside.

7.30 In shower, listening to BBC World News blaring from TV in bedroom. Since moving here I have become a lot more au fait with current affairs and financial happenings in the world as there is not much else on TV I can keep up with this early in the morning.

8.00 Having breakfast of Frosties – they’re grrrreat!

8.20 Leaving my room, into the lift. Say hello to the cleaning lady. Wave hello to camp man from shop. Out and discuss the weather in Tinglish with security man. Into taxi.

8.30 Stuck in traffic.

8.37 Still in traffic, on outside lane of 5 lane highway.

8.45 Have inched along about 3 millimetres. Wish I could get out and walk but would be instantly killed by one of the 17 gazillion motorbikes that are flying past.

8.50 Finally arrive at the office. There is some confusion amongst the driver of the taxi as to whether he will fit thru gap between wall and oncoming car. He tries it anyway and knocks the other car’s wing mirror off. Both driver shrug, smile and wave and carry on their way.

8.55 Down to the food court for a smoothie. The girls there know me by sight now and shout manao (lime) at me when they see me approaching, as this is what I always have. Fox them by asking for pineapple. They look disappointed. I am disappointed as it is not as nice as the lime one – too fibre-y.

9.00 Upstairs in office. Forgot that today is the day of week that I am supposed to wear GIANT polo shirt. Thankfully, a few other people forgot or purposely did not either.

11.30 Have been working on boring tickets all morning, nothing of great note. Sneaked a look at some blogs I read. It’s a girl at work’s last day today, so the whole office is going out for lunch to a place called Vanilla Cafe. I hear it is “not far” from here. We all assemble and go downstairs and wait for taxis to take us there.

11.40 Downstairs waiting for taxis. The spikey haired girl from the smoothie stall is outside and she shouts hello to me – everyone is impressed that I have a friend! Into taxi with Visit, Wan and Luis for epic journey to restaurant. It takes almost an hour to get there. The taxi driver is channelling Nigel Mansell (or DC, Anne!) and is being very frustrated that he can’t drive at more than 1 mph. We are all hanging on for dear life as he tries to overtake a motorbike with about 55 million drinking straws in a huge plastic sack strapped to the back. I am the only one laughing tho.

12.30 Arrive at restaurant – wow! It is set in a beautiful Japanese garden, very zen. There is a cookery book shop next to the restaurant and I can see Gordon Ramsay’s ugly. pock marked mug staring at me from the window. There is lots of perfectly raked gravel and fountains, etc. Some girls are walking around on the gravel messing it up. I like to think there is a sniper on the roof waiting to take them out, but no sign.

13.00 This place is amazing! It’s decorated really nicely – there’s a table football table, tin robots on a shelf and some of those viewfinder things that we used to have as kids. I have a cola lime frost to drink which is basically shaved ice covered in lime juice topped with Coke. The most refreshing thing I have ever drunk I think(but thru a straw or my teeth would dissolve instantly).

13.45 The food is really nice. We have a selection of dishes to share between the 15 of us – everything from sushi, broccoli soup and spaghetti to noodles, rice and crabcakes. There is also a ham and cheese toastie ordered apparently for me – I have no idea why. It tastes like plastic and I donate the rest to the others. The spaghetti is really nice as is the beef noodle dish. I even try a bit of crab cake and it turns out to be really quite tasty – creamy and not fishy at all.

14.45 Finally back to the office. The traffic on the way back is no better than on the way there and 2 of our number fall asleep in the back.

18.00 The afternoon is spent doing the handful of tickets left from this morning, chatting to people on MSN and generally faffing. I leave work very promptly so I can get back to Oakwood for my last nite and get packed.

18.30 Make it back in record time and head straight upstairs and put my swimsuit on. Sling on my dressing gown, grab a towel and I am ready to go.

18.45 I will really miss this pool! It’s so relaxing. The sun has set and the sky is a kind of indigo colour now. It’s nice to just float and look thru the palm trees to the indigo sky. Think about what I need to do tonite and worry as I do from time to time that I have done right thing in coming here. Decide that now is not the time to worry, but the time to do some improvised aqua aerobics. Do press ups at edge of pull (in water), some more laps and then have a rest in the jacuzzi bit.

19.30 Back upstairs, had shower and now eating dinner whilst watching Two and a Half Men. I love this show, altho Lee I know will be cringing reading this as he thinks it’s awful Dinner is rice with pork balls acquired from Tesco the other day when I was buying duvet etc. It is ok – just ok.

20.00 Packing! I feel like I’ve been away for years and I have managed to spread my belongings to the 4 corners of the apartment. Gather up everything to be packed, only leaving what I need to wear tomorrow, etc out.

20.30 Remember to empty safe – phew!

20.45 Finished packing – thought it would take much longer. Log online to post some photos up, answer some emails and check if anyone’s blogged (they haven’t).

21.00 Decide that my time would be better spent finishing my latest emobroidery project. So I go thru to lounge and sit and finish it. I have mar-c in mind when I am doing this as I think she will be most pleased to see it.

21.30 Ooh, The Remains Of The Day is on. I have never seen it, so start watching it whilst sewing.

22.45 Finished sewing, but film still trundling on. Decamp to bedroom to watch end.

23.50 Wake up, TV blaring, confused. Switch TV off and go to sleep – good nite!

PS – if anyone can tell me what happens at the end of the film, that would be great, thanks.

Visit To Hospital! March 26, 2008

Right, must stop reading other blogs and write my own.  I am racing against time as the battery is only half full on my laptop and I have packed the charger away already.

Packed?! I hear you cry!  Yes, as I am moving to my apartment tomorrow, a couple of days earlier than I thought owing to some mixed up dates.  I am swerving wildly between excitement and apprehension, altho I am really not sure why.  It will be nice to have somewhere I can leave my stuff all over the floor and not worry about the cleaners every day having to politely put things in a neat pile on the table and do hospital corners on the bed.  I suppose for the first few days it will be strange, especially as I am not sure how long it is going to take me to get to work, etc.

Yesterday was my second Monday at work and I am settling in pretty well.  We were all sat for most of the day twiddling our respective thumbs (or in my case, looking at flickr ) as with the Easter bank holidays there is not much call for technical support, what with everyone out enjoying themselves rolling eggs down hills and eating chocolate bunnies.  I have had to explain to my colleagues several times what the significance of it all is, and I must admit, despite being brought up a Catholic, even I was having trouble making sense of it towards the end.

Whilst your Easter Monday was no doubt spent watching The Sound of Music on TV and eating your own body weight in hot cross buns, mine was spent at the hospital here.  Now, mum, don’t get ahead of yourself – I am perfectly fine!  Part of my work permit application tho is a certificate from a doctor here to confirm that I am free of a number of diseases, namely:

• Alcoholism
• Drug addiction
• Leprosy
• Elephantatis
• TB

Not AIDs, or anything like that – just elephantatis, whatever that is.  So, my boss set me the challenge of getting to the hospital and navigating all this by myself and I must admit, it was dead easy.  The hospital turned out to be about 5 minutes from the office (imagine my embarrassment of getting in a taxi and him driving round corner and letting me out practically) and everyone was very nice and spoke good English and appreciated my vain attempt to speak Thai to them.

The hospital itself was more like a 5 star hotel – none of your NHS stuff here!  It had fountains and marble floors and fancy sofas and most importantly for them, big signs saying CASHIER THIS WAY.  You get what you pay for, as they say, and in this case I got top notch service from an army of beautiful Thai women in 50s style nurses hats.

Anyway, I went and registered with a nice lady who then sat me on a swanky sofa and a few minutes later her finely chiseled colleague came and gave me a credit card type thing which holds all my details and medical history when I build one up here – ingenious.  Then they handed me over to yet another impossibly beautiful lady with 50s hat on and she put my arm in a very strange, scary blood pressure machine, weighed me, took my height and then gave me one of those colour blindness tests that I have not had since primary school.  After that I had to wait to see the doctor in a waiting room which was more like a first class airport lounge – no out of date Womens Own magazines, just cable TV and a selection of hot and cold drinks from the waiter service (WAITER SERVICE).

I was a bit nervous as I was expecting blood tests, having to mime and point to things in my phrase book etc, but I got in to the doctor and he turned out to be Welsh.  We had a nice chat, he listened to my chest and heart (both present and correct), discussed my medication and that was it – no blood tests, no nothing.  A few moments later they brought my certificate and I paid 800 bhat and that was it, all over!  I felt slightly cheated that it was so easy, but also of course pleased that I had managed to negotiate it all myself.

I also had my photos taken for my work permit (all 6 of them) so I am all set for getting that sorted – fingers crossed they give me it.  I can’t think why they wouldn’t.

So, that’s pretty much it for now – today is day in the life, but I think I will probably save mine to post up tomorrow, given the battery situation.

Please – tell me your news!

Last Wednesday March 26, 2008

What a day!  It started off badly and sadly, as I was leaving Oakwood.  It had begun to feel like home so I was sad to leave – even the camp man in the shop came out to wave when I left for work.  I was thinking to myself in the taxi to work this morning how I keep mis-calculating how much money here is worth in the real world for example, I tend to think of 500 bhat as being about a fiver when it is nearer £9.  Imagine my horror then to get out of the taxi, having paid the fare of 50 bhat only to realise that I had dropped a 500 bhat note in the back of the car.  I have no idea how I managed it, or maybe I handed it to driver instead of a 20 (unlikely), but it was missing and I was fuming.

I consoled myself with a pineapple smoothie (not as nice as lime) and got into work a bit early and spent the morning being annoyed at stupid customers and myself for being so careless.  Then we headed back to Oakwood to collect my stuff and make the epic journey to my new place.  I say epic – the distance is not all that far, about 6 or 7 miles maybe, but the traffic … oh, the traffic.  It took forever and a day to get there and even longer to get back.

We got to the place and brought everything upstairs and started doing stuff like switching on electricity, working out air conditioning and then we decided to plug the fridge in – I had to move it a bit to get to the switch and as I did, I discovered a giant cockroach behind the fridge – thankfully deceased.  Everyone was horrified in the quiet, polite giggling way that Thais get embarrassed and I deftly swept it up and disposed of it.  But when we told Leopard Lady and her toothless counterpart, they insisted on coming back upstairs later and cleaning the room again (so they said). Leopard Lady then introduced me to the fingerprint man and he scanned my thumb and gave me The Power to get in and out the building.

So, my stuff dropped off, we headed back to office where I spent most of the afternoon moving desks, talking to people in Glasgow and helping the odd customer that came my way.  Visit hooked me up with an appointment with the internet people at 7pm, so I had to hurry home stopping only to purchase monthly train tickets and take a wrong turn up an escalator I just came down at the MRT station.

The walk from the MRT station to the apartment was a bit longer than I recalled but only took about 10 or 15 minutes in the end and thankfully the heat was not TOO oppressive.  The end of my soi was full of food stalls, fruit sellers and tables full of people eating, so it was quite exciting to see that this will be the sort of neighbourhood I’ll be living in, i.e. exactly the sort I imagined before I got here.

I got in and Leopard Lady and her toothless pal had not had time to clean the room again yet, so they came upstairs with me and set to it, moving the bed, etc to sweep up and buffing the floor on their hands and knees, god love them.  The room was pretty clean anyway – I imagine cockroaches are part and parcel of life in a country like this after all.

Anyway, I had to shoo them out and go and meet the internet man who turned out to be a lady, or more accurately a man who wants to be or is now a lady, or a katoey as they call them here.  It was pretty hard to tell but the hands gave it away in the end.  He/she was stunningly beautiful and I was a hot sweaty mess as usual.  There was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing as I didn’t have my passport on me and in the end it struck me that I was standing in a car park, with a transvestite handing over money for an internet connection that may or may not be switched on this Sunday.  I frankly have no idea what is happening, but I do have to email a man tomorrow with a copy of my passport, presumably so that if I decide to skip the country with Thailand’s annual quota of interwebs, they can pass my details to Interpol.

Call me crazy, or even ting tong, but despite the fact that I was hotter than I have ever been and sweat was dripping from every pore, I decided that now would be a GREAT time to go to the supermarket along the road.  I can’t really fathom why I thought that was a good idea, but I think it was mostly because I didn’t have a towel to dry off with if I went for a swim, so I toddled along and bought some supplies and a beach towel, trudged back, wanting to faint and dumped the bags on the as yet unmade bed and got downstairs into the pool.  It was ACE to get in the water and several other people had the same idea, so it was pretty busy, even tho it was after 8.30 by that time.

I came back upstairs, waving to Leopard Lady on the way (who had been very keen for me to get in the swimming pool, presumably so she could laugh at my ungainly progress up and down the water) and saying hello the friendly security guards who have to stand outside what looks like 24 hours a day waving cars in and out.  The security is very visible here – everyone has to sign in and out of the swimming pool and gym (I discovered a gym too by the pool), cars need a pass to get in and there is CCTV on the main doors which lets you see who is at the door on your TV (nifty!).  So the rest of this evening I have spent unpacking, making the bed (the comforter I bought is slightly too small for the bed but still functional) and having a shower.  There only appears to be 2 plug points in the apartment one of which the TV is plugged into (all Thai channels until Internet Wo/man’s friend TV man comes at the weekend) and the other of which is in the kitchen, so I am perched on a stool at the worktop now to write this.  I have been watching some bizarre TV movie tonite which seems to feature dense Thai teenagers getting shot in a forest, somehow coming back to life and getting married in a western style church and then finding jars floating in a dirty river.  I have no idea what is happening but the acting is appalling – if it was in English it would be Eldorado or perhaps something like Knotts Landing.

Right, I am off to sleep in my extremely hard bed with my too small covers – wish me luck!

Not So Lazy Sunday March 23, 2008

What a day and it is only 2.30pm!  I awoke relatively early this morning so have been Getting Things Done.  I woke up first around 6.30 am and looked out the window to a dense fog.  I have taken to sleeping with the curtains open so I can gaze out the window and go waaaah when I can’t sleep and when I woke up at first, it looked like I was on a plane going thru the clouds.  When I woke up again later tho, it was perfectly sunny – weird. 

I have been taking advantage of the free breakfast at weekends this morning, with a bacon sandwich and some pineapple – the only thing that marred it was a British sikh teenager bellowing DOUGHNUTSSSSSS at the top his voice for about 10 minutes solid.  I have no idea why, or why his parents and extended family didn’t think to shut him the hell up … it’s moments like those that you’re embarrassed to be British.

So, after breakfast I decided to head to the supermarket to hunt down a duvet, etc for the new apartment, and headed to old faithful Tesco Lotus.  I have had in the back of my mind for the last few days that I would get a haircut as my hair is just too long to keep tidy in this heat.  So when I walked past a hairdressers offering haircuts for approximately £4, I decided why the hell not, and went on in.

The staff did not speak any English but I was armed with my phrasebook, opened to the At The Hairdressers page and between that and some gesticulating, I ended up getting a pretty decent amount of hair chopped off, with the only slight worry being that they made it curly as I had gone in with it tied up and they could not see that I have a panic attack if my hair is anything less than poker straight.

I was feeling pretty pleased with myself after that and even more pleased when I managed to get almost everything on my list in Tesco including a comforter duvet thing, some amazing pillows and the cutest plates ever.  I’ll photograph it all when I move in of course.  I got back to drop all my stuff off and pottered round a bit and then decided that seeing as I was on a bit of a roll I would go out and find the Chinese temple that is near the hotel.  After a hot trip down the wrong soi I found the correct one and found a really amazing place.

   

 There was some sort of service or ceremony taking place when I got there – lots of people walking round the perimeter of the compound with incesnse, chanting, etc.  In the main pavilion was some monks making offerings to the giant golden buddha there whilst 2 other monks kept the rythm for the worshipping on a drum and a giant bell.  It was really peaceful yet noisy and was nice to walk around with my shoes off on the cool marble floors.  No one seemed to mind a farang walking round too much and I had a good wander around.  I would have taken more photos were it not for the batteries in my camera packing up, but you can see the ones I did take here.

Now I am back at the ranch contemplating heading to the pool for a dook and some sewing.  Back to work tomorrow, so I think taking it easy for the rest of the day is in order.  I found proper sun block this morning so I am off to slather that on to try and stave off any further sunburn carnage.

Ow :[ March 22, 2008

Not one to break with tradition – ooh, it’s hot.  In fact, so hot that today this happened, quite by accident: 

Instead of the early rising I had in mind, I slept late and decided to do my laundry rather than shopping.  I eventually figured out the washing machines and thought that instead of going upstairs, I would read a book in the sun … not of course taking into consideration that it would burn me to a crisp in the hour or so I was out.  Sun block has been on my shopping list for a week now, but I have yet to find any that is not whitening.

Yes, whitening.  Whitening skin here is big business, almost, if not more than, as much as tanning is in the UK.  There are adverts everywhere – on billboards by the roadside, videos on the BTS, promotions in malls.  All the Thai ladies want to be paler and there are no end to the number of products they can buy in shops here to assist them.  It’s not just the gals – the boys can also have whiter skin by using the numerous face washes, moisturisers, etc on sale too.

This is all well and good, but it does make it hard to find things even as simple as shower gel or the aforementioned sun block.  It feels strange to me that people would envy me for my pasty skin and light coloured hair as I envy them for their hobbit-like proportions and ability not to sweat.

So, after I had done with burning my skin to pork scratching proportions and had managed to work out the driers, I headed back upstairs to upload some photos, tidy up a bit and managed to work out the Skype thing (by merely switching it on – no idea what happened) and chatted to Lee for a bit before I decided that I really couldn’t put it off further and headed out to the real world.

Man, it was hot.  But I think I am very, very slowly adjusting.  I managed to get down to the BTS station and get to Sala Daeng station without even contemplating breaking a sweat.  When I got off the train I realised that I was actually at the station across from the entrance to Lumpini Park, so rather than get the MRT (subway) to Lumpini station, I thought I would have a nice meander thru the park, stopping at the kiosk near the entrance for some water in time to witness an argument between the Thai shop assistant and a German cyclist over some soy milk. 

Saturdays seem to be prime time for the joggers of Bangkok to take to their trotters.  The park is really about the only place for them to pursue their crazy hobby as the pavements here are either full of food stands and other stalls, motorbike taxis avoiding traffic or potholes.  There are also several open air gyms, with mostly weight lifting equipment which made a water break for me most amusing – lots of macho looking guys trying to outdo each other.  There was also a fellow doing some martial arts practice with 2 big sticks, and he looked very menacing, so I didn’t stop too long.

The park is really quite peaceful and it is easy to forget that you are in one of the busiest cities on the planet.  There is always the dull roar of traffic wherever you go, but somehow it is easier to tune it out when you are strolling amongst bonsai trees and ornamental pagodas. 

I eventually arrived at the other side of the park about 5 ish and crossed the road to the entrance to the nite bazaar.  There are no overpasses on the road here, so crossing the road is slightly like playing frogger, except you are the frog.  The nite bazaar doesn’t really start to hot up til after 6, so when I was beseiged by some girls offering me a foot massage for a mere £2 for 30 minutes I did not give it a second thought and leapt right into the chair. 

I had never had a massage before coming here and after the disaster of yesterday’s inappropriate footwear, I must say that it really went down a treat today.  Once you get over the tickly issue, it is easy to see why you could end up snoozing.  There is nothing like having someone punch you in the shins for half an hour to really perk you up.  The girl who was attending to me was very vigorous and I seriously did think at one point she was going to dislocate my toes, but it was really very refreshing.  She did a very thorough job and it was a bit of a shame to put my sweaty shoes back on and tramp around the market after that.

But tramp around I did!  I am growing used to being stared at for being a lone, pale girl and am taking it all in my sweaty stride now.  I managed not to buy a pair of trainers despite the guys halfing their starting price, but did I buy a new bag and purse (or purse and wallet if you are American) for about £8 as well as a fan to try and keep slightly cooler.  I somehow always manage to end up going up and down the same group of sois at the nite bazaar, altho it is often hard to tell as many stalls sell the same things, or variations thereof.

After I was done with trudging, I got out of the park and played frogger again and had my first moment of triumph in Bangkok – my first conversation entirely in Thai.  Ok, it only lasted a few sentences, but I managed to thank the nice taxi driver for stopping further down the street when I didn’t even hail the cab til he’d passed and agree that yes, I was very hot and tell him to stop right here.  A small triumph, but one that gave me an inner glow of satisfaction, nonetheless.

After all that I had to have another swim to cool down and then came back to find that the room fairies had been and made the bed and rearranged my laundry despite putting a note under the door to say that they weren’t coming today.  The only thing that could make their service better is if they were to start making monkeys out of the towels, but they resolutely insist on leaving them neatly folded on the rack in the bathroom.

Tomorrow is Sunday (altho it is Sunday already here) – what to do!  I am considering going to Chatuchak market which is enormous – allegedly 8000 stalls.  It is best to get there early to avoid the heat and too many of the crowds.  I may instead go for the glamour instead and head to Tesco to see if I can locate a duvet, cutlery, etc for the apartment and then maybe take in the Chinese temple which is a short walk away from Oakwood.  But now – it’s time for bed.  Good night!

New Home March 22, 2008

It’s not all non-stop action here in the land of smiles.  Even tho I am literally living my dream of living in a strange land and seeing how every day life is, I have not lost signt of the fact that there are sill another 200 odd countries out there that I have not yet explored yet.  And for that reason, I love to read Flip Flop Flying, who’s author is currently taking his leisurely time of travelling around South America.  I’ve also been particularly enjoying his tendency to blog all his random thoughts about the country he is in, it’s people and ways that are strange to foreigners.  Maybe I’ll try to do more of that and less of prattling on about the weather.

Anyway, I write to you from the glamorous location of my bed.  I am very snoozesome, but I want to do this tonite so I have room in my head to remember whatever tomorrow brings.  The big news of today is that I signed the lease on the apartment!  Leopard Lady is now my new land lady (does that make her Leopard Land Lady?) and I signed the thing and she’s all ready to scan my fingerprint on Friday when I’ll be moving in.  I have literally no clue at all what the street is called but I do know how to get there which is the main thing.  I am jumping ahead of myself tho, so let me go back to where I left off yesterday …

I was all set last nite to come back to casa del oakwood and have a nice swim and a bit of lounging around, but at about 6pm I was asked if I wanted to go to Commart, a computer expo at the Queen Sirikrit exhibition centre.  Not being one to say no to royalty, I foolishly agreed to go along.  I am not exactly what you would call a boffin, so I have to admit that I was a bit bored, the best thing about it being the food hall where we ate dinner (it was dinner for me, but probably a snack for everyone else – these people could snack as an Olympic sport) which, I know you’ll be dying to hear about – it was pork noodle soup and it was fantastic – price:  about 40p.  Me and Wan, one of my colleagues and the boss’ wife, wandered round aimlessly for a while, I think each of us trying to pretend that we were interested in what was going on, but in the end we gave up and hung around in a central location waiting for the others and chatting about general stuff.  I wish I could look like Wan as she is impossibly gorgeous and always immaculately turned out and I feel like Babar’s wife standing next to her.  (I was really pleased today as Visit asked me about my perfume as she really liked it but didn’t like to ask). 

Anyway, speaking of elephants – the best thing about the expo was not the food after all – it was the fact that we saw an elephant!  We caught a taxi back to the hotel/office and we were sat in a traffic jam (for a change) and I looked out the window and there was an elephant moseying along the pavement.  It was being followed by a man with a big stick, so I think it was not unattended.  I was so taken aback that it took me a few moments to reach for my camera, by which time of course, the traffic had miraculously unclogged, so I didn’t get a photo.  But it was really strange to see – there was no particular ceremony to it, it was just being walked down the street like you’d walk your dog.

So today I thought I would wear something a bit smarter to work as I have been looking like a tramp all week owing to either  having to wear a giant polo shirt for no reason at all or sweating profusely.  I have a kind of turquoisey top and I thought they would match my turquoisey wedge shoes, so I set off feeling quite fresh for a change.  I had this plan formulated in my head that this would somehow work out with no hiccups – but I did not forsee that I would be walking for long distances in the 35 degree heat.  So I was resembling a baked blancmange by approximately 1pm.  Also now my feet are aching so much that I am considering having them surgically removed and boiled up into noodle soup.  My soles feel like they are on fire, urrrrgh.  Lesson learned – wear comfortable shoes at ALL times.  Good excuse to have a foot massage this weekend tho.

I took lots of photos of my new apartment, you can see them all on flickr, including a picture of leopard landlady fiddling with my drawers (ooer!).  I had to choose an internet package and TV package for my apartment which basically consisted of LL and Visit jabbering away and me looking confused.  The best thing about the apartment is that it overlooks the swimming pool.  I am really looking forwards to being able to get in the water whenever I like.  It looks like there are some tables and chairs by the pool and also possibly some sort of cafe – I couldn’t really see properly.  There are loads of street food places just down the soi (side street) and of course the infamous cafe that had run out of rice the other day.  We went in there today ostensibly for a drink and to use the facilities, but ended up having, you’ve guessed it, a snack.  I had a lovely little blueberry cheesecake that was delightfully creamy and an apple yoghurt smoothie which was not really what i was expecting (especially as I’d asked for no yoghurt in it) but was very cold. 

We eventually made it back to the office about 3pm by which time it was hotter than the surface of the sun outside.  I had intially internally scoffed at Visit for handing me an umbrella as we’d left the office that morning, but I am glad I took him up on it as it turned out to be a valuable protection from the rays for my fair celtic skin!  When we got back to the office, we learned that just after we left today, someone apparently jumped from the 10th floor – how awful.  They would have had no chance of survival.

Tonight I came home and dropped off my laptop and had a quick shower and was back out in about 10 minutes.  I headed off to Rama 3 mall to see what was there and have a nosey at bedsheets, duvets, etc as I need some stuff for new place.  But I did not get very far as I was pretty hungry and having not eaten western food for well over a week, thought I would treat myself to some beef at a steak place in the mall.  I had a burger that looked amazing, but in reality was pretty average.  A lot of western foods here just don’t taste quite right – bread is too sweet, sausages are too rubbery and burgers are too pale.  I think I should stick to the kao moo deng (pork and rice) and clear soup.   Their idea of how Western restaurants work is also amusing to us – for example, they took my order and came back a few moments later with half a slice of cheese on toast.  No explanation for this – it was nice tho!  Also, they directed me to the salad bar, which was very Pizza Land circa 1988 but featured things like asparagus, unpickled beetroot, soup, jelly and my personal favourite, hard boiled quails eggs.

Apart from that I have spent the evening having a one sided conversation with Lee on Skype as the microphone on my headset seems to have packed up.  I must try to get another one this weekend as it is most frustrating not being able to speak to him!  Altho I am sure he was enjoying being able to get a word in edgeways!

So, what of this weekend?  Well, I had hoped to hang out more with Liz, but forgot that she is off to Cambodia!  So I think I am going to spend some quality time with the swimming pool, maybe some more sewing and perhaps a visit to Chatuchak market, which is the ENORMO market out past my new apartment.  It sells EVERYTHING and I can probably get cheaper housewares there than in the department stores.  I also would like to buy some sort of handbag this weekend as I only have a tiny teeny one with me that I can’t fit everything in and my rucksack is chafing my sweaty shoulders – ugh.

Some random thoughts:

Why do they make the bannisters out of metal on the staircases up to the overpasses over the roads? They heat up to about 1000 degrees by about 10am.

After a week here, I know what it is like to be famous as everyone stares at a reasonably fair-haired, very pale farang (foreigner) girl, especially a porky one.

I wonder if there are many frogs near my new apartment as I saw a dead, flat, black one on the road earlier today.

How can people stay so thin here when they eat ALL the time?

Right, I think that is all for now, I am almost dropping off.  More soon!

Swimming Costume = Found March 20, 2008

Halllllllelujiah!  The hunt for the elusive swimming costume is over!  I know you are all probably as fed up with this story as I am, so I’ll make it brief (ha!) …

After work yesterday I decided to take myself off on the BTS along to Chitlom and see if the Central department store there did, as advertised, have a Marks and Spencers.  I got along there without any trouble and decided that the best plan of attack, in the absence of a handy map that tells you what is on each floor (really, would it kill them to have a map?!), to take the escalator to the top floor and then work my way down til I found what I needed.

I am pretty glad I did, as I found all sorts of wonderful things – a book store that sells English language books and magazines for a start.  I had to buy a book as I bizarrely only brought one from home.  I think I had so much crammed in my case that I couldn’t have fitted anything else in anyway.

I also found on my travels a great cute stuff section full of Sanrio toys, etc, ideal for Jo and mar-c if they come to visit.  There was also the “ideas” zone which had loads and loads of really cool stuff – stationery, pin boards, stickers, cards, etc.  Another stop there for me after pay day I think! 

Also, I found a whole section dedicated to swimwear, so I went to have a rifle thru the racks.  A kindly Thai shop assistant lady came and asked me if she could help and then took me to the normal sized suits round the corner – hurrah!  She picked out some HIDEOUS styles, but there were 2 ok ones in amongst them so she let me try them on (which  I thought was odd, but when in Rome…) so I did and hurrah! It fitted and didn’t make me look like a shotputter and didn’t have a skirt or anything.

I was so pleased that I skipped gaily to the check out with it and only realised once I got there that it cost TWO THOUSAND BHAT!  To save you the bother of looking it up, that is approximately 32 of your british pounds or 74 of your dollars of the americas.  I had a look at the less appealing styles and realised that for once I had actually managed to pick the cheapest thing in the shop, so I had no real choice but to buy it.  I did get 100 bhat off tho for signing up for a loyalty card, so in the end it cost just over 30 british bucks.  JEEEEEZ.

So, with that finally sorted, you bet your life I went straight home and slung it on and got in the pool – and it was great not to have to wear my pyjamas!  It is a proper hold you in nice ladies swimming costume and I will wear it every day for the rest of my goddamn life!  I had a nice swim about in the dark (there are lights under the water tho) and listened to the bats squeaking about and watched a bit of football on TV as I could see it at the poolside bar and then went upstairs for some dinner (chicken and noodles, seeing as you ask) and that was my pretty uneventful evening!  I have some more photos to post at some point, but have been leaving my laptop at work as it is too heavy to take on my back round the shops, so maybe this weekend!

Today I have been working away, but seem to have finished my quota of work for the day already.  Everyone else is playing games for the rest of lunchtime, so I am taking this opportunity to post my blog!  Lunch was downstairs in the food hall again today – pork and rice for me with, yes, you’ve guessed it, clear soup.  A lime smoothie is cooling me down again today – the girls at the counter know me by sight now and reach for the limes.  I am going to learn the word for pineapple and really fox them tomorrow!